Friday, December 7, 2007
More to come...
Okay, well, for some reason, my computer won't let me post any more pics right now... so, I will try more tomorrow. But that is preview #1 :-)
Our New Home
Here is a little tour of our new (BUT TEMPORARY) home! When you walk in the door, the first pic is of the living room which is off to the left.
Another pic of the same view, with cozier lighting. :-) (and our Christmas Tree from the Taylors)
This is the straight ahead view that you see when you walk in. A little divider with our stockings on it since we don't have a fireplace. It divides the living room from the dining room. Don't mind all the boxes everywhere... it is all of Harper's stuff that we need to put in the storage closet on the porch.
This is the dining room consumed with boxes. A one bedroom apt only has so much room! Oh well... at least I know it is temporary.
A little picture of my centerpiece on our dining room table.
Another pic of the same view, with cozier lighting. :-) (and our Christmas Tree from the Taylors)
This is the straight ahead view that you see when you walk in. A little divider with our stockings on it since we don't have a fireplace. It divides the living room from the dining room. Don't mind all the boxes everywhere... it is all of Harper's stuff that we need to put in the storage closet on the porch.
This is the dining room consumed with boxes. A one bedroom apt only has so much room! Oh well... at least I know it is temporary.
A little picture of my centerpiece on our dining room table.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
We've arrived!
Well, after leaving a day late, we made it to Brentwood this morning at 11:45! Chris unpacked so fast, and I did my best to help - carrying light loads up and down stairs until I felt like I was getting too tired. I then tried to unpack some... our apartment looks much better at this point, but it still needs lots of work. I will try to post pics as soon as I can.
The Taylors came over to welcome us to Tennessee and then took us to dinner. They also gave us a house warming gift... a Christmas tree and ornaments!!!! It is adorable! We all came back to the apartment and decorated it. After they left, Chris and I tried to do a little bit more organizing, but he has now collapsed on the bed and is asleep. I decided to give up on doing anything else b/c my back was starting to hurt. So I'm plopped on the couch watching House and updating this. I will update much more tomorrow when I have more time and am able to focus more.
I can't wait b/c tomorrow we are going to explore around the area, go on a Target run, unpack a little more, and watch Elf! I love Christmas time!
The Taylors came over to welcome us to Tennessee and then took us to dinner. They also gave us a house warming gift... a Christmas tree and ornaments!!!! It is adorable! We all came back to the apartment and decorated it. After they left, Chris and I tried to do a little bit more organizing, but he has now collapsed on the bed and is asleep. I decided to give up on doing anything else b/c my back was starting to hurt. So I'm plopped on the couch watching House and updating this. I will update much more tomorrow when I have more time and am able to focus more.
I can't wait b/c tomorrow we are going to explore around the area, go on a Target run, unpack a little more, and watch Elf! I love Christmas time!
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Hiccups
Yesterday I read through a pregnancy update email that around 27-28 weeks, your baby would start getting the hiccups. Hiccups for babies actually help them start to practice their breathing technique, so it is quite important. :-) I started wondering when Harper would start this little activity... and lo and behold, last night at 11:30, she got her first case (well, the first case mommy could feel) and it lasted about 15 minutes! It was so cool! I am so thankful that she is continuing to develop right on track. Jesus, you are so good!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
3rd Trimester Baby!
Well, I just got back from my 27 week visit, and I have officially completed 2/3 of my pregnancy! Thank you Jesus! Everything looks right on track, and I only gained 3 lbs since my last visit! This was the last visit with my favorite doctor - Dr. Wiist! He is a Godly man who performed my surgery and prayed with us to conceive a baby! We are sad that we have to leave him, but we are thankful that the Lord placed him in our lives as we were going through a tough time.
(I look so sleepy in this picture!!)
I am so excited about these next few weeks. There is a lot of change going on, but it is wonderful! We know we are doing what the Lord wants us to do by moving to Nashville. I am sad and will miss many precious people here, but I also know I will see them again because Grandma and Grandpa (or whatever they will be called) live here! Next week we will be settling into our apartment, the weekend of the 14th I will be going home for Nancy's showers, then there will be Christmas, and then Chris' parents are coming to visit. January and February will be quiet months, but I'm looking forward to my processing time and getting ready for Harper's arrival!
Okay, since I havent done a survey in a while...
How far along? 27 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 25 pounds - I'm right on track... just trying to be steady from now until the end by doing no more than 1 lb a week! Walking at least 3 times a week!
Maternity clothes? absolutely! I can still do some pre-preggy shirts/sweaters. They are cute b/c they hug the big belly and make me feel good!
Stretch marks? yes! But not on the tum tum... However, I do have a faint line appearing down my belly! I love it! I feel like it is a true mark of a pregnant woman!
Sleep: LOVE IT! I still sleep like I'm in a coma, and the snoring continues.. haha! After working all day on Tuesday, I was so tired that I completely concked out and didn't even wake up to tinkle in the middle of the night. I felt like my bladder was going to explode when I woke up, but man that sleep was the best! My hips are starting to hurt though. My body is starting to adjust and prepare for birth! hooray!
Best moment this week: When my sister and mom got to feel Harper move for the first time. Nancy got all teary-eyed when Harper gave her 3 good kicks, and mom and I just sat on the couch feeling her move for about 15 minutes. It was so precious!
Movement: LOTS - especially when I eat! And she was going nuts after I had to drink the sugar drink for the glucose test this morning! On the way to Clinton for Thanksgiving I got worried b/c she hadn't moved in a while, but it was just a quiet day for her. I think the ride in the car was soothing to her. Maybe that will work on the tough nights she won't go to sleep... (cross your fingers)
Food cravings: Protein always sounds good. But I also LOVE frozen fruit - especially peaches!
Gender: ITS A GIRL!!
Labor Signs: small braxton hicks type of contractions has started - i feel like I'm in training for the big day!
Belly Button in or out? still in, but really shallow! When I make it pop out by stretching it a little bit, it is so soft and squishy! Weird!
Wedding rings on or off? Off. I am wearing a different ring that is a little bigger.
What I miss: sleeping on my tummy! and being able to exercise like I want. I will look forward to starting that once Harper arrives, and I've healed up!
What I am looking forward to: My baby shower is Sunday!
Weekly Wisdom: clean out and dejunk the house now b/f the baby arrives. I am forced to do this b/c of the move, but it is also a wonderful blessing!
Milestones:
baby has been moving like crazy! :)
Took my glucose test
All my family got to see my pregnant over Thanksgiving!
We had our first baby shower in Clinton -given by my family! We got so many great things - our two big gifts were the carseat/stroller combo and the Graco Pack-n-play!
Our house is on the market! and our lives are getting organized!
Okay, well thats about it for now. My packing break is over, and I must get back to taping more boxes and packing for Nashville! Love yall!
Mary Lindsey
PS Please pray our house will sell soon!
(I look so sleepy in this picture!!)
I am so excited about these next few weeks. There is a lot of change going on, but it is wonderful! We know we are doing what the Lord wants us to do by moving to Nashville. I am sad and will miss many precious people here, but I also know I will see them again because Grandma and Grandpa (or whatever they will be called) live here! Next week we will be settling into our apartment, the weekend of the 14th I will be going home for Nancy's showers, then there will be Christmas, and then Chris' parents are coming to visit. January and February will be quiet months, but I'm looking forward to my processing time and getting ready for Harper's arrival!
Okay, since I havent done a survey in a while...
How far along? 27 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 25 pounds - I'm right on track... just trying to be steady from now until the end by doing no more than 1 lb a week! Walking at least 3 times a week!
Maternity clothes? absolutely! I can still do some pre-preggy shirts/sweaters. They are cute b/c they hug the big belly and make me feel good!
Stretch marks? yes! But not on the tum tum... However, I do have a faint line appearing down my belly! I love it! I feel like it is a true mark of a pregnant woman!
Sleep: LOVE IT! I still sleep like I'm in a coma, and the snoring continues.. haha! After working all day on Tuesday, I was so tired that I completely concked out and didn't even wake up to tinkle in the middle of the night. I felt like my bladder was going to explode when I woke up, but man that sleep was the best! My hips are starting to hurt though. My body is starting to adjust and prepare for birth! hooray!
Best moment this week: When my sister and mom got to feel Harper move for the first time. Nancy got all teary-eyed when Harper gave her 3 good kicks, and mom and I just sat on the couch feeling her move for about 15 minutes. It was so precious!
Movement: LOTS - especially when I eat! And she was going nuts after I had to drink the sugar drink for the glucose test this morning! On the way to Clinton for Thanksgiving I got worried b/c she hadn't moved in a while, but it was just a quiet day for her. I think the ride in the car was soothing to her. Maybe that will work on the tough nights she won't go to sleep... (cross your fingers)
Food cravings: Protein always sounds good. But I also LOVE frozen fruit - especially peaches!
Gender: ITS A GIRL!!
Labor Signs: small braxton hicks type of contractions has started - i feel like I'm in training for the big day!
Belly Button in or out? still in, but really shallow! When I make it pop out by stretching it a little bit, it is so soft and squishy! Weird!
Wedding rings on or off? Off. I am wearing a different ring that is a little bigger.
What I miss: sleeping on my tummy! and being able to exercise like I want. I will look forward to starting that once Harper arrives, and I've healed up!
What I am looking forward to: My baby shower is Sunday!
Weekly Wisdom: clean out and dejunk the house now b/f the baby arrives. I am forced to do this b/c of the move, but it is also a wonderful blessing!
Milestones:
baby has been moving like crazy! :)
Took my glucose test
All my family got to see my pregnant over Thanksgiving!
We had our first baby shower in Clinton -given by my family! We got so many great things - our two big gifts were the carseat/stroller combo and the Graco Pack-n-play!
Our house is on the market! and our lives are getting organized!
Okay, well thats about it for now. My packing break is over, and I must get back to taping more boxes and packing for Nashville! Love yall!
Mary Lindsey
PS Please pray our house will sell soon!
Monday, November 26, 2007
So much to write...
Well, we are back from our Thanksgiving travels and I am enjoying a nice cup of coffee on this cozy, cold and rainy morning. My life is about to launch into a whirlwind, but for now I'm going to try to savor the peace and quiet.
Thanksgiving was such a blessing, and a precious time with family. We were able to spend wonderful time with Johnny, my brother, his wife, Meghan,, and their two boys Kyler and Nikolas. I am so proud of this family! They are doing great!! I am so proud of them!
It was great to see other family members. They were all so excited to see the big tummy, and to try to feel Harper move. However, she was pretty quiet this past weekend. It must have been all the turkey. Our family threw a baby shower for us on Friday, and gave us so many sweet things that I can't wait to use! We got our stroller/carseat combo, a pack-n-play, a ton of cute clothes and stuffed animals! We are so thankful for everyone's generosity as we start our new life with Harper!
Moving into today and looking toward the next week, I cannot even begin to wrap my mind around the life change that is about to take place with our move to Nashville next Wednesday. Everyone keeps asking me if it has "sunk in" yet. And the answer is no. I keep waiting for it to, but it just hasn't. I think because it is moving so fast. Mom is on her way down today to help me gather and sort the things we need to take to our apartment. The blessing in all of this is we will be living in a furnished apartment, so we don't have to take any of our furniture right now! That would be just more stress! Once our house sells, and we find a house up there, then we will make the BIG move. I know I will miss so many people here, but I really am looking forward to this new start. It just seems fitting for us to make this big life change right before our family expands. I know the sadness will come and that there will be lonely days ahead, but Jesus will sustain and provide for our every need. This is going to be an adventure, and I can't wait to go through this big life change with my best friend and hubby!!!
As far as my pregnancy is going, all is progressing well. Harper moves a lot - especially when Chris talks to her each night. It is so sweet to feel/watch them interact. I cant wait until we can hold her and see her face and interact with her all the more! I think Braxton Hicks contractions have started, too. They are fake contractions that tone your muscles and get you ready (as can be) for labor. They are completely painless, just weird feeling. My stomach will get rock hard and stay that way for about 30 seconds. It just means that I am getting closer!!!
Well, thats about it for now. Once I'm up in TN, I should have much more time to update this blog. I have so many thoughts running through my head that I look forward to some down time where I can process them. I am truly thankful for the move and how it has fallen right in the middle of my pregnancy. I feel that it is going to give me time to process and mentally and emotionally prepare as best as I know how for the arrival of my daughter and my new role as mama!
The Lord is good, and He truly does make all things beautiful in HIS time!
Thanksgiving was such a blessing, and a precious time with family. We were able to spend wonderful time with Johnny, my brother, his wife, Meghan,, and their two boys Kyler and Nikolas. I am so proud of this family! They are doing great!! I am so proud of them!
It was great to see other family members. They were all so excited to see the big tummy, and to try to feel Harper move. However, she was pretty quiet this past weekend. It must have been all the turkey. Our family threw a baby shower for us on Friday, and gave us so many sweet things that I can't wait to use! We got our stroller/carseat combo, a pack-n-play, a ton of cute clothes and stuffed animals! We are so thankful for everyone's generosity as we start our new life with Harper!
Moving into today and looking toward the next week, I cannot even begin to wrap my mind around the life change that is about to take place with our move to Nashville next Wednesday. Everyone keeps asking me if it has "sunk in" yet. And the answer is no. I keep waiting for it to, but it just hasn't. I think because it is moving so fast. Mom is on her way down today to help me gather and sort the things we need to take to our apartment. The blessing in all of this is we will be living in a furnished apartment, so we don't have to take any of our furniture right now! That would be just more stress! Once our house sells, and we find a house up there, then we will make the BIG move. I know I will miss so many people here, but I really am looking forward to this new start. It just seems fitting for us to make this big life change right before our family expands. I know the sadness will come and that there will be lonely days ahead, but Jesus will sustain and provide for our every need. This is going to be an adventure, and I can't wait to go through this big life change with my best friend and hubby!!!
As far as my pregnancy is going, all is progressing well. Harper moves a lot - especially when Chris talks to her each night. It is so sweet to feel/watch them interact. I cant wait until we can hold her and see her face and interact with her all the more! I think Braxton Hicks contractions have started, too. They are fake contractions that tone your muscles and get you ready (as can be) for labor. They are completely painless, just weird feeling. My stomach will get rock hard and stay that way for about 30 seconds. It just means that I am getting closer!!!
Well, thats about it for now. Once I'm up in TN, I should have much more time to update this blog. I have so many thoughts running through my head that I look forward to some down time where I can process them. I am truly thankful for the move and how it has fallen right in the middle of my pregnancy. I feel that it is going to give me time to process and mentally and emotionally prepare as best as I know how for the arrival of my daughter and my new role as mama!
The Lord is good, and He truly does make all things beautiful in HIS time!
Monday, November 12, 2007
24 weeks - 6 months!!!!!!
I can't believe I've already made it to 6 months! Harper Grace is flipping all around right now as I write this. I actually got to SEE her move on Saturday as she kicked or poked my right side - how cool!!!
I can't wait until Thanksgiving to see my family so that they can feel her and see her move, too!
Here is a little progression of belly shots - ranging from 2 days to 24 weeks. Lets see if I can do this....
2 days after postive pregnancy test (approximately 5 weeks)
10 weeks
16 weeks
22 weeks
23 weeks - my view
24 weeks
I've been feeling great, and am enjoying being pregnant. I can't wait to see her and hold her! Chris talks to her every night, and she is starting to respond to his voice. Last night we tried to put a flashlight up to my stomach to see if she would respond to light; however after only holding it there for 2 seconds, I was afraid we were going to blind her, so I decided we would wait a few more weeks before we tried that one again. :-)
Hope everyone is doing well! Miss you and love you all!
I can't wait until Thanksgiving to see my family so that they can feel her and see her move, too!
Here is a little progression of belly shots - ranging from 2 days to 24 weeks. Lets see if I can do this....
2 days after postive pregnancy test (approximately 5 weeks)
10 weeks
16 weeks
22 weeks
23 weeks - my view
24 weeks
I've been feeling great, and am enjoying being pregnant. I can't wait to see her and hold her! Chris talks to her every night, and she is starting to respond to his voice. Last night we tried to put a flashlight up to my stomach to see if she would respond to light; however after only holding it there for 2 seconds, I was afraid we were going to blind her, so I decided we would wait a few more weeks before we tried that one again. :-)
Hope everyone is doing well! Miss you and love you all!
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
23 weeks
Just a quick update... Chris felt Harper move for the first time this weekend! It was so cool to see him actually connect with his little girl! His eyes lit up when he felt her kick. He felt her about 3-4 more times that day.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
An Update Finally... 22 weeks and 3 days
Hello Friends and Family!
Sorry it has been so long since I've updated! We have been quite busy around here lately, and since I'm not feeling sick anymore, time is flying by!
Hmmmm... lets see what I can fill you in on...
1st... we have a name!!! Harper Grace Blanton... Chris was laying on the couch one night and the name just "came to him" No family history or anyone that we know with that name. We BOTH like it - which was a first, so as we mulled over it the next few days, we definitely knew that was her name!
2nd... here is the update for almost 5 1/2 months along....
How far along? 22 weeks and 3 days
Total weight gain/loss: 15 pounds
Maternity clothes? In full swing! Just received a TON from my next door neighbor! Now at least I'm not wearing the same things over and over and over again!!!!
Stretch marks? hmmmm... a few have developed, but not on my tummy! ;-)
Sleep: well, sleep is wonderful right now. I sleep like I am in a coma! I don't hear anything, and Chris says I have picked up a new little hobby... snoring. Oh how delightful! I don't want to be a snorer! That is gross! Hopefully, it will go a way once Harper arrives! He says I only do it every now and then... so maybe there is hope!
Best moment this week: shopping for my little girl on Saturday at the outlet mall, i got sooo many cute things - her crib dust ruffle, a bumper pad, 2 cute little outfits I couldn't resist, and a shadow box frame.
Movement: TONS!!! I'm trying to start keeping a kick count, but its hard! I just make sure she moves some every hour. She really goes to town when I'm eating. :-) She must like food like her mama!
Food cravings: Cinnamon rolls or muffins
Gender: Its a GIRL!
Labor Signs: none thank goodness! Although I did have a little scare about 2 weeks ago. I had some cramping all across my abdomen, but it turned out just to be her growing and stretching me out! That happened Friday, and Sunday I had so many people coming up to me saying - oh my gosh, you actually look pregnant now!
Belly Button in or out? in, but shallow!
Wedding rings on or off? off... only b/c they have been giving my finger a weird rash! I'm going to have them cleaned and see if that helps at all!
What I miss:eating a good hot dog. Weird, I don't really even like hot dogs all that much, but since I can't have them, I just want one.
What I am looking forward to: Chris feeling her move, AND starting to do stuff for the nursery! I will post a pic of what we are hoping for her nursery to turn out like!
Weekly Wisdom: start collecting stuff now! Especially diapers! I try to buy 1 pack every time I go to the grocery store. I'm collecting all sizes so we will have some back ups. I know we will go through them so fast!
Milestones: Finally choosing a name - Harper Grace! Going shopping for Harper, and feeling her move all the time!
Sorry it has been so long since I've updated! We have been quite busy around here lately, and since I'm not feeling sick anymore, time is flying by!
Hmmmm... lets see what I can fill you in on...
1st... we have a name!!! Harper Grace Blanton... Chris was laying on the couch one night and the name just "came to him" No family history or anyone that we know with that name. We BOTH like it - which was a first, so as we mulled over it the next few days, we definitely knew that was her name!
2nd... here is the update for almost 5 1/2 months along....
How far along? 22 weeks and 3 days
Total weight gain/loss: 15 pounds
Maternity clothes? In full swing! Just received a TON from my next door neighbor! Now at least I'm not wearing the same things over and over and over again!!!!
Stretch marks? hmmmm... a few have developed, but not on my tummy! ;-)
Sleep: well, sleep is wonderful right now. I sleep like I am in a coma! I don't hear anything, and Chris says I have picked up a new little hobby... snoring. Oh how delightful! I don't want to be a snorer! That is gross! Hopefully, it will go a way once Harper arrives! He says I only do it every now and then... so maybe there is hope!
Best moment this week: shopping for my little girl on Saturday at the outlet mall, i got sooo many cute things - her crib dust ruffle, a bumper pad, 2 cute little outfits I couldn't resist, and a shadow box frame.
Movement: TONS!!! I'm trying to start keeping a kick count, but its hard! I just make sure she moves some every hour. She really goes to town when I'm eating. :-) She must like food like her mama!
Food cravings: Cinnamon rolls or muffins
Gender: Its a GIRL!
Labor Signs: none thank goodness! Although I did have a little scare about 2 weeks ago. I had some cramping all across my abdomen, but it turned out just to be her growing and stretching me out! That happened Friday, and Sunday I had so many people coming up to me saying - oh my gosh, you actually look pregnant now!
Belly Button in or out? in, but shallow!
Wedding rings on or off? off... only b/c they have been giving my finger a weird rash! I'm going to have them cleaned and see if that helps at all!
What I miss:eating a good hot dog. Weird, I don't really even like hot dogs all that much, but since I can't have them, I just want one.
What I am looking forward to: Chris feeling her move, AND starting to do stuff for the nursery! I will post a pic of what we are hoping for her nursery to turn out like!
Weekly Wisdom: start collecting stuff now! Especially diapers! I try to buy 1 pack every time I go to the grocery store. I'm collecting all sizes so we will have some back ups. I know we will go through them so fast!
Milestones: Finally choosing a name - Harper Grace! Going shopping for Harper, and feeling her move all the time!
Friday, October 12, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
IT'S A.....
GIRL!!!! She is absolutely beautiful, and is doing sommersaults in my tummy right now! I will post pictures later. I'm so pooped, because I also have bronchitis! eeeck! Will do more updates later...
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
I wonder...
if we will have a son or a daughter. I am so excited to find out tomorrow what our little one is. It is amazing to me that the Lord, who has been busy at molding and shaping this new little life already knows who him or her. Tomorrow, hopefully, if baby cooperates, we will be able to start planning with pink or blue in mind.
All along I've thought that this baby is a girl. I've dreamt that she is a girl, and when I think about the baby, I think "girl" thoughts. But maybe that is because I am a girl, and its what I know. Of course I would love a girl b/c I love pink :-), and I have a wonderful relationship with my mom and my sister. That is what I'm comfortable with - girl stuff. All the little quizzes and old wives tales say its a girl, but I've known them to be wrong before! A few of them include...
Wives tales in favor of girl:
Ring over belly (this one didn't work)
Awful morning sickness!
Sleeping on right side - defintely... can't hardly sleep on my left side.
Craving sweets - not so much, I like them, but I crave more sour stuff.
Chris has gained weight
Acne - same as before... get a few doozies each month
No headaches
Leg hair growth is same as before
I just think that it is a girl; however, in the last week, I've started wondering if its a boy. I would be so excited to have boy. First of all, a boy is all that Chris has ever thought about. I think it kind of goes along the same way that I am used to girl stuff, Chris is used to boy stuff. He also has said a little girl would wrap him around her little finger! While this would be true, I know he would be a great dad to a little girl - just as he would be a great dad to a little boy! We are just comfortable with what we know. I can't wait to see what the Lord blesses us with! A few (there aren't that many to begin with) old wives tales for having boy include...
Carrying in front
Craving sour stuff
So, not that many for saying its a boy. However, that definitely doesn't mean that it won't be boy. Also, Chris and I have an AWESOME name picked out for a boy!!! If its a little girl, she is currently nameless - so we'd have to work on that.
**** UPDATE*****
As I am writing this post, the baby was going crazy! And, I felt the baby kick from the outside for the first time!!!!!!!!! I called Chris immediately and told him as best I could (I have no voice!) that soon he would be able to feel our little one kick! I'm so excited!
*******************
Well, we have less than 24 hours to hear who this little one is. Can't wait to post and let everyone know! Until then...
All along I've thought that this baby is a girl. I've dreamt that she is a girl, and when I think about the baby, I think "girl" thoughts. But maybe that is because I am a girl, and its what I know. Of course I would love a girl b/c I love pink :-), and I have a wonderful relationship with my mom and my sister. That is what I'm comfortable with - girl stuff. All the little quizzes and old wives tales say its a girl, but I've known them to be wrong before! A few of them include...
Wives tales in favor of girl:
Ring over belly (this one didn't work)
Awful morning sickness!
Sleeping on right side - defintely... can't hardly sleep on my left side.
Craving sweets - not so much, I like them, but I crave more sour stuff.
Chris has gained weight
Acne - same as before... get a few doozies each month
No headaches
Leg hair growth is same as before
I just think that it is a girl; however, in the last week, I've started wondering if its a boy. I would be so excited to have boy. First of all, a boy is all that Chris has ever thought about. I think it kind of goes along the same way that I am used to girl stuff, Chris is used to boy stuff. He also has said a little girl would wrap him around her little finger! While this would be true, I know he would be a great dad to a little girl - just as he would be a great dad to a little boy! We are just comfortable with what we know. I can't wait to see what the Lord blesses us with! A few (there aren't that many to begin with) old wives tales for having boy include...
Carrying in front
Craving sour stuff
So, not that many for saying its a boy. However, that definitely doesn't mean that it won't be boy. Also, Chris and I have an AWESOME name picked out for a boy!!! If its a little girl, she is currently nameless - so we'd have to work on that.
**** UPDATE*****
As I am writing this post, the baby was going crazy! And, I felt the baby kick from the outside for the first time!!!!!!!!! I called Chris immediately and told him as best I could (I have no voice!) that soon he would be able to feel our little one kick! I'm so excited!
*******************
Well, we have less than 24 hours to hear who this little one is. Can't wait to post and let everyone know! Until then...
Friday, October 5, 2007
19 week update - Yea its my birthday! (26)
Well, this post is going to be a little different. I am updating what happened this week. Monday night I went to bed with an ache in my back on the right side. I woke up around 2:30 in awful pain, having to wake Chris up. I thought I had a kidney stone or something like it. I couldn't go back to sleep for a few hours,though. I finally got comfortable enough with a heating pad, and drifted back to sleep. I called the Dr the next morning, and the nurse thought it could be my gallbladder. I went in for an ultrasound to see if that is what it was, and thank you, Jesus, that it wasn't! They said it could be bad indigestion or something they would just have to wait and see. I am supposed to take Maalox every 4 hours, which seems to help.
Anyway, one thing that I want to change is the way I've acted during this pregnancy. All along I have known that this is a miracle, but sometimes I get caught up in the negative things that my body has to go through that I forget the miracle of it all. I have been reading about some people who have lost pregnancies or babies, and one would think after all we went through I would be more grateful. I am grateful, so incredibly grateful. Words cannot describe it. Yet I want my attitude and my words to change so that people see and they know that I am blessed so much more than I deserve! I am thankful! We are blessed. Even though my body has to go through these changes, I know that the end result is a new life. A new life requires sacrifice. I am glad to do this!
Thank you, Jesus! Continue to form this little one in your hands. And change this little one's mama to have a tender heart, and to not focus on herself so much.
Anyway, one thing that I want to change is the way I've acted during this pregnancy. All along I have known that this is a miracle, but sometimes I get caught up in the negative things that my body has to go through that I forget the miracle of it all. I have been reading about some people who have lost pregnancies or babies, and one would think after all we went through I would be more grateful. I am grateful, so incredibly grateful. Words cannot describe it. Yet I want my attitude and my words to change so that people see and they know that I am blessed so much more than I deserve! I am thankful! We are blessed. Even though my body has to go through these changes, I know that the end result is a new life. A new life requires sacrifice. I am glad to do this!
Thank you, Jesus! Continue to form this little one in your hands. And change this little one's mama to have a tender heart, and to not focus on herself so much.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
18 Week Update...
I can't believe it has been almost a month since I've updated... Here is a little bit different twist on the survey. A little fun...
1. How far along are you? 18weeks!!
2. Team Blue, Pink or Green? Right now green, two weeks from today hopefully pink or blue :)
3. How much weight have you gained? 9 lbs! Not too bad at this point!
4. How many inches has your waist line increased? 4 inches
5. Exercise? Whats that?? Mainly just walking
6. Linea Nigra (dark line) on tummy? Nope
7. Belly button- innie, outtie, or flattie? Still innie, but it is much more shallow!
8. Stretch Marks? Nothing so far (and hopefully nothing at all!)
9. Any swelling (rings still on)? Some swelling because it has been so hot here! I can wear my wedding band, but I can't wear my engagement ring.
10. ? too personal...
11. Biggest pregnancy complaint/discomfort? gagging still! and heartburn. I didn't realize how normal my digestive tract used to be!
12. Future Baby Shower plans? A few are being talked about... maybe one at home in November.... the others in January.
13. Pregnancy Extras Planned (3/4D U/S, Pregnancy Photos, Belly Cast, etc)? We hope to get a 3/4D u/s in December. I want my sister to take some pregnancy photos.
14. Approximately how many fetal movements do you feel per day? well, I've just started to feel them, but only a couple of times a day.
15. Glucose Test completed? Results? Havent done this test.
16. Planning on have a drug-free birth or pain med assistance? Bring on the DRUGS!!!!!!!!!
17. ? too personal...
18. Favorite Baby Find? The only thing we have bought so far is a cute little onesie set from the GAP. We are waiting until we find out if its a boy or girl before we start buying anything.
19. What is the first thing you are going to eat/drink after baby is born? Hmmmmm... it will just be nice to eat with out thinking if its going to harm the baby or not.
1. How far along are you? 18weeks!!
2. Team Blue, Pink or Green? Right now green, two weeks from today hopefully pink or blue :)
3. How much weight have you gained? 9 lbs! Not too bad at this point!
4. How many inches has your waist line increased? 4 inches
5. Exercise? Whats that?? Mainly just walking
6. Linea Nigra (dark line) on tummy? Nope
7. Belly button- innie, outtie, or flattie? Still innie, but it is much more shallow!
8. Stretch Marks? Nothing so far (and hopefully nothing at all!)
9. Any swelling (rings still on)? Some swelling because it has been so hot here! I can wear my wedding band, but I can't wear my engagement ring.
10. ? too personal...
11. Biggest pregnancy complaint/discomfort? gagging still! and heartburn. I didn't realize how normal my digestive tract used to be!
12. Future Baby Shower plans? A few are being talked about... maybe one at home in November.... the others in January.
13. Pregnancy Extras Planned (3/4D U/S, Pregnancy Photos, Belly Cast, etc)? We hope to get a 3/4D u/s in December. I want my sister to take some pregnancy photos.
14. Approximately how many fetal movements do you feel per day? well, I've just started to feel them, but only a couple of times a day.
15. Glucose Test completed? Results? Havent done this test.
16. Planning on have a drug-free birth or pain med assistance? Bring on the DRUGS!!!!!!!!!
17. ? too personal...
18. Favorite Baby Find? The only thing we have bought so far is a cute little onesie set from the GAP. We are waiting until we find out if its a boy or girl before we start buying anything.
19. What is the first thing you are going to eat/drink after baby is born? Hmmmmm... it will just be nice to eat with out thinking if its going to harm the baby or not.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
14 Week Update...
How far along? 14 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Yikes! I'm in denial! I think like 7 lbs! My goal for this pregnancy is 30 lbs. So, with that said, I have 26 weeks left... Even if I gain a pound a week, I'm over - oh no! Well, I guess thats not too bad. i will be at 33 pounds gained. But this will motivate me to start walking more!
Maternity clothes? Completely! They are in full swing. I cleaned out my closet and stored the clothes that I can't wear for a while.
Stretch marks? I found a couple of white ones on my right hip! I lotion up all the time! Maybe they won't get too bad... at least I hope I don't get the purple ones.
Sleep: It is getting a little better. I only got up once in the middle of the night last night! That is very good!
Best moment this week: Feeling the baby move!
Worst moment this week: Gagging all day long. Nothing comes up, but I will randomly gag - especially about 10 minutes after eating. So weird and quiet annoying!
Movement: Well, I've been feeling little flutter on and off, but I can say that I really think I felt the baby move last night after I got up and went to the potty. I came back and laid down and I just felt these bubbles/flutter over and over again in the same spot. I really think it was the baby.
Food cravings: Not so much. I've become a very picky eater!
Gender prediction: I still say girl. Chris still says boy. We could possibly find out next week!!!! Especially if it is a boy!
Labor Signs: thank goodness no :)
Belly Button in or out? Still in, but becoming more shallow. :-)
Wedding rings on or off? Still on, but on certain days I have to take off my engagement ring b/c it gets too tight. It is a little smaller than my wedding band.
Weekly Wisdom: Clean out things now while you have the time! Get other rooms ready and get rid of junk!
Milestones: 1. Feeling the baby move!
Looking forward to next week: Hearing the heart beat! Meeting a midwife. Seeing the baby again! Possibly finding out if it is a girl or boy!!!
Total weight gain/loss: Yikes! I'm in denial! I think like 7 lbs! My goal for this pregnancy is 30 lbs. So, with that said, I have 26 weeks left... Even if I gain a pound a week, I'm over - oh no! Well, I guess thats not too bad. i will be at 33 pounds gained. But this will motivate me to start walking more!
Maternity clothes? Completely! They are in full swing. I cleaned out my closet and stored the clothes that I can't wear for a while.
Stretch marks? I found a couple of white ones on my right hip! I lotion up all the time! Maybe they won't get too bad... at least I hope I don't get the purple ones.
Sleep: It is getting a little better. I only got up once in the middle of the night last night! That is very good!
Best moment this week: Feeling the baby move!
Worst moment this week: Gagging all day long. Nothing comes up, but I will randomly gag - especially about 10 minutes after eating. So weird and quiet annoying!
Movement: Well, I've been feeling little flutter on and off, but I can say that I really think I felt the baby move last night after I got up and went to the potty. I came back and laid down and I just felt these bubbles/flutter over and over again in the same spot. I really think it was the baby.
Food cravings: Not so much. I've become a very picky eater!
Gender prediction: I still say girl. Chris still says boy. We could possibly find out next week!!!! Especially if it is a boy!
Labor Signs: thank goodness no :)
Belly Button in or out? Still in, but becoming more shallow. :-)
Wedding rings on or off? Still on, but on certain days I have to take off my engagement ring b/c it gets too tight. It is a little smaller than my wedding band.
Weekly Wisdom: Clean out things now while you have the time! Get other rooms ready and get rid of junk!
Milestones: 1. Feeling the baby move!
Looking forward to next week: Hearing the heart beat! Meeting a midwife. Seeing the baby again! Possibly finding out if it is a girl or boy!!!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
12 Week Survey... (well almost)
Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I was out of town in NC visiting mom and nancy (sister). Didn't have any time to update so... here it goes...
How far along? 11 Weeks 5 days
Total weight gain/loss: Don't know... haven't weighed in a while... and I'm certainly not weighing at 9:42 at night - after eating a cupcake. Mmmmmm.... :-)
Maternity clothes? I wore my first maternity dress on Sunday. I just feel more comfy in maternity clothes. However, I still try to wear my regular shorts (which I can't button,but I use a rubberband on to hold them together) because it is so hot right now. I don't want to buy any shorts b/c the majority of my preggy stage will be in the winter.
Stretch marks? Not yet!! Hopefully not at all - my mom or aunt didn't get them!
Sleep:Well, it is too hot to enjoy sleep. I've turned the a/c down to as low as Chris will let me. I can not wait until it is winter! Right now I don't think I will turn on the heat until the baby arrives! I feel so much better when it is cold!
Best moment this week: Buying maternity clothes with mom last week. I've got some really cute pieces that will last me through the winter. Also, a friend of mine gave me her maternity clothes, so I feel like I've gotten a new wardrobe! That's fun!
Movement: Not yet, but hopefullly soon! Maybe a month or so b/f I can feel him/her!
Food cravings: Food is getting better. Nothing is great to me, except for that cupcake I ate a few minutes ago. That was delish! After I eat, I get this wretched taste in my mouth, though. I have to go brush my teeth or the taste alone will make me get nauseous.
Gender prediction: I've had some dreams that it is a girl. I'm so curious to find out!
Labor Signs: thank goodness no :)
Belly Button in or out? still in But my tummy is starting to round out. I spent the last week with Nancy, and she pointed out that my tummy was so tight and didn't have any wrinkles or rolls in it when I sat down. I hadn't noticed - i just felt fat, but it did make it seem a little more real. I can tell my tummy has grown more this week.
Wedding rings on or off? Still on....
Weekly Wisdom: Drink water as much as possible! and enjoy this time with family. It hits me every now and then - our family is going to change big time in 6 months!
Milestones: 1. Going to Babies R Us with Mom and starting to plan what we will need. 2. Talking Chris into finding out the sex of the baby! I'm dying to know!
How far along? 11 Weeks 5 days
Total weight gain/loss: Don't know... haven't weighed in a while... and I'm certainly not weighing at 9:42 at night - after eating a cupcake. Mmmmmm.... :-)
Maternity clothes? I wore my first maternity dress on Sunday. I just feel more comfy in maternity clothes. However, I still try to wear my regular shorts (which I can't button,but I use a rubberband on to hold them together) because it is so hot right now. I don't want to buy any shorts b/c the majority of my preggy stage will be in the winter.
Stretch marks? Not yet!! Hopefully not at all - my mom or aunt didn't get them!
Sleep:Well, it is too hot to enjoy sleep. I've turned the a/c down to as low as Chris will let me. I can not wait until it is winter! Right now I don't think I will turn on the heat until the baby arrives! I feel so much better when it is cold!
Best moment this week: Buying maternity clothes with mom last week. I've got some really cute pieces that will last me through the winter. Also, a friend of mine gave me her maternity clothes, so I feel like I've gotten a new wardrobe! That's fun!
Movement: Not yet, but hopefullly soon! Maybe a month or so b/f I can feel him/her!
Food cravings: Food is getting better. Nothing is great to me, except for that cupcake I ate a few minutes ago. That was delish! After I eat, I get this wretched taste in my mouth, though. I have to go brush my teeth or the taste alone will make me get nauseous.
Gender prediction: I've had some dreams that it is a girl. I'm so curious to find out!
Labor Signs: thank goodness no :)
Belly Button in or out? still in But my tummy is starting to round out. I spent the last week with Nancy, and she pointed out that my tummy was so tight and didn't have any wrinkles or rolls in it when I sat down. I hadn't noticed - i just felt fat, but it did make it seem a little more real. I can tell my tummy has grown more this week.
Wedding rings on or off? Still on....
Weekly Wisdom: Drink water as much as possible! and enjoy this time with family. It hits me every now and then - our family is going to change big time in 6 months!
Milestones: 1. Going to Babies R Us with Mom and starting to plan what we will need. 2. Talking Chris into finding out the sex of the baby! I'm dying to know!
Monday, July 30, 2007
9 Week Survey...
How far along? 9 weeks 5 days
Total weight gain/loss: 0 pounds - back to pre-pregnancy weight
Maternity clothes? Pants are still tight. I can actually feel a little bump starting to form!
Stretch marks? Not yet!!
Sleep: It is sew gooood! But I'm stinkin' tired ALL THE TIME! Sleep really doesn't satisify the exhaustion - it is so weird! A friend told me today that when you are growing a baby, you are doing more work when you are lying down than you would be doing climbing a mountain! No wonder I'm so tired!!!
Best moment this week: Seeing our little sweet pea dance around on the ultrasound! It was absolutely amazing to see a complete human that is no bigger than an inch long saying hi to mommy and daddy for the first time!!!
Movement: I can't feel it yet, but that baby is doing the macarena inside me!!!
Food cravings: Food is still pretty gross, but getting a littel better. I could eat frozen grapes all day long, though!
Gender prediction: who in the world knows?!?! Some days I think it is a boy some days I think it is a girl!
Labor Signs: thank goodness no :)
Belly Button in or out? still in
Wedding rings on or off? Still on....
Weekly Wisdom: Start planning now as far as what we will need to get: nursery stuff, feeding stuff, clothing, etc. SO MUCH STUFF!
Milestones: 1. Seeing our precious little one for the first time! 2. Having a Due Date given by the nurse - February 29th -Leap Year Day! 3. And looking at nursery bedding and dreaming about what we will have - boy or a girl?
My OB appointment is on Thursday. This is so amazing! I can't wait to see all that will come to be!
Total weight gain/loss: 0 pounds - back to pre-pregnancy weight
Maternity clothes? Pants are still tight. I can actually feel a little bump starting to form!
Stretch marks? Not yet!!
Sleep: It is sew gooood! But I'm stinkin' tired ALL THE TIME! Sleep really doesn't satisify the exhaustion - it is so weird! A friend told me today that when you are growing a baby, you are doing more work when you are lying down than you would be doing climbing a mountain! No wonder I'm so tired!!!
Best moment this week: Seeing our little sweet pea dance around on the ultrasound! It was absolutely amazing to see a complete human that is no bigger than an inch long saying hi to mommy and daddy for the first time!!!
Movement: I can't feel it yet, but that baby is doing the macarena inside me!!!
Food cravings: Food is still pretty gross, but getting a littel better. I could eat frozen grapes all day long, though!
Gender prediction: who in the world knows?!?! Some days I think it is a boy some days I think it is a girl!
Labor Signs: thank goodness no :)
Belly Button in or out? still in
Wedding rings on or off? Still on....
Weekly Wisdom: Start planning now as far as what we will need to get: nursery stuff, feeding stuff, clothing, etc. SO MUCH STUFF!
Milestones: 1. Seeing our precious little one for the first time! 2. Having a Due Date given by the nurse - February 29th -Leap Year Day! 3. And looking at nursery bedding and dreaming about what we will have - boy or a girl?
My OB appointment is on Thursday. This is so amazing! I can't wait to see all that will come to be!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
8 Week Survey
A friend of mine did this through her pregnancy, and I wanted to keep up with all the fun of our pregnancy, too! So... here it goes..
How far along? 8 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: -3 pounds (due to horrible morning sickness!)
Maternity clothes? Not yet, but my pants are getting a tad tighter. I bought a beautiful dress from Mimi Maternity, and a cute sweater from Old Navy. Can't wait to wear them!
Stretch marks? Not yet
Sleep: I get pretty tired around 8:30, but try to stay awake until 10 so that I will sleep through the night. However, for the past few nights, I've had to wake up around 3-4AM in order to eat something so I won't be sick in the AM!
Best moment this week: Waking up on Tuesday AM, and realizing I had slept through the night!!! Also, having Brooke come over and helping me clean my house b/f we go out of town!
Movement: not yet
Food cravings: more like food aversions!!! I can hardly figure out what to eat b/c everything sounds disgusting - esp meat of any type!
Gender prediction: girl but only by a teeny tiny bit. I had a dream last night that the baby was a girl.
Labor Signs: thank goodness no :)
Belly Button in or out? still in
Wedding rings on or off? Still on....
Weekly Wisdom: buy stuff now to spread the money out, while you see stuff on clearance :)
Milestones: Not any this week. Hope to have some next week!
How far along? 8 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: -3 pounds (due to horrible morning sickness!)
Maternity clothes? Not yet, but my pants are getting a tad tighter. I bought a beautiful dress from Mimi Maternity, and a cute sweater from Old Navy. Can't wait to wear them!
Stretch marks? Not yet
Sleep: I get pretty tired around 8:30, but try to stay awake until 10 so that I will sleep through the night. However, for the past few nights, I've had to wake up around 3-4AM in order to eat something so I won't be sick in the AM!
Best moment this week: Waking up on Tuesday AM, and realizing I had slept through the night!!! Also, having Brooke come over and helping me clean my house b/f we go out of town!
Movement: not yet
Food cravings: more like food aversions!!! I can hardly figure out what to eat b/c everything sounds disgusting - esp meat of any type!
Gender prediction: girl but only by a teeny tiny bit. I had a dream last night that the baby was a girl.
Labor Signs: thank goodness no :)
Belly Button in or out? still in
Wedding rings on or off? Still on....
Weekly Wisdom: buy stuff now to spread the money out, while you see stuff on clearance :)
Milestones: Not any this week. Hope to have some next week!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
We are going to be PARENTS!!!!
Oh my goodness! I can not believe it! I am writing this on Wednesday, June 27, but I won't publish it for a little while because I want to make sure all the news gets out to all my family and close friends first.
Chris and I found out on Sunday, June 24 that there was a little one being knitted together inside me!!! I am still in shock yet so excited! Chris is excited too, but can't believe that we find out our lives are going to change by a stick that says "pregnant" on it.
I will go in for my first ultrasound and blood work on July 30th. My Dr. won't see you until you are 9-11 weeks. I really cannot believe this miracle at work. We were reading a book the other day that tracks the development of a baby, and today it says our baby could fit into this peroid: . three times!!!!! Isn't that crazy?!?!
I haven't really had too many symptoms, but it could be because it is so early. They say morning sickness doesn't start until around week 6 a lot of times, so I think I have about 2 more weeks by the time that is supposed to hit. Yikes! Maybe that won't be one of my symptoms - hopefully!
Anyway, we are so thankful for the Lord answering our prayers. Continue to pray this will be a happy and healthy pregnancy!!! We love you and will keep you posted!
[ Update: I am updating and posting this on July 18th, and our baby is now the size of a pinto bean!!! He/She has been growing like a weed!!! Morning Sickness has definitely kicked in - better described as morning, noon, and night sickness!!! In fact, I feel like I have the stomach flu, or I'm getting over the stomach flu. It pretty much stinks, but I'm feeling much better this week than last week! I read today that the placenta starts forming during week 8 and that can take some edge off the morning sickness! Thank the LORD!!!! My Dr. actually prescribed Zofran for me which helps with vomiting, and it has really helped wonders. I've only taken it twice, though. ]
Chris and I found out on Sunday, June 24 that there was a little one being knitted together inside me!!! I am still in shock yet so excited! Chris is excited too, but can't believe that we find out our lives are going to change by a stick that says "pregnant" on it.
I will go in for my first ultrasound and blood work on July 30th. My Dr. won't see you until you are 9-11 weeks. I really cannot believe this miracle at work. We were reading a book the other day that tracks the development of a baby, and today it says our baby could fit into this peroid: . three times!!!!! Isn't that crazy?!?!
I haven't really had too many symptoms, but it could be because it is so early. They say morning sickness doesn't start until around week 6 a lot of times, so I think I have about 2 more weeks by the time that is supposed to hit. Yikes! Maybe that won't be one of my symptoms - hopefully!
Anyway, we are so thankful for the Lord answering our prayers. Continue to pray this will be a happy and healthy pregnancy!!! We love you and will keep you posted!
[ Update: I am updating and posting this on July 18th, and our baby is now the size of a pinto bean!!! He/She has been growing like a weed!!! Morning Sickness has definitely kicked in - better described as morning, noon, and night sickness!!! In fact, I feel like I have the stomach flu, or I'm getting over the stomach flu. It pretty much stinks, but I'm feeling much better this week than last week! I read today that the placenta starts forming during week 8 and that can take some edge off the morning sickness! Thank the LORD!!!! My Dr. actually prescribed Zofran for me which helps with vomiting, and it has really helped wonders. I've only taken it twice, though. ]
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Let the Running Begin!
Well, I've started my running routine, and it feels so good to really be exercising again!!! I am going to try to use this blog to keep track of my runs and the progress I'm making!
Tuesday, May 29
Walked 30 minutes at mall
Walked 2 laps around neighborhood with Chris
Ran 60 secs/ Walked 90 secs for 11 minutes (then legs started itching)
Thursday, May 31
Walked 5 minutes, warm - up
Ran 60 secs/Walked 90 secs for 20 minutes
Walked 5 minutes, cool down
20 stair push-ups
25 situps
25 R/L side crunches
30 butt raises - haha (don't know what to call them)
20 lower abs
Stretch
Goal: Saturday do the same
Monday begin challenge self more!
Tuesday, May 29
Walked 30 minutes at mall
Walked 2 laps around neighborhood with Chris
Ran 60 secs/ Walked 90 secs for 11 minutes (then legs started itching)
Thursday, May 31
Walked 5 minutes, warm - up
Ran 60 secs/Walked 90 secs for 20 minutes
Walked 5 minutes, cool down
20 stair push-ups
25 situps
25 R/L side crunches
30 butt raises - haha (don't know what to call them)
20 lower abs
Stretch
Goal: Saturday do the same
Monday begin challenge self more!
Monday, May 28, 2007
New Outlook
Well, it is Memorial Day, and Chris and I have been having a fun time hanging out today, fixing up the house with adorable screen doors, an american flag, and a tomato plant. I finally have some time to update our webpage.
Well, let me see where I left off... we have been waiting two months. This was supposed to be the month that Chris and I would begin trying. However, we went ahead and tried the first month (in April). For some reason or another, that month had so much hope wrapped up in it because it was our 3 year anniversary and we had so much hope because of my surgery.
When I got my period, I really went through a really tough week. Chris was out of town at a conference, and I was home by myself. I also found out one of my college roomates, Kristen, was having twins. That was harder than I can even describe. However, this week was an amazing turning point for me. I was able to talk to a lady from my church, Lisa, about her struggle with infertility and she now has 3 beautiful girls. She understood - someone who truly undestood for the first time. She shared that a lot of her struggle was about wanting this dream in her timing vs. God's timing. The folllowing Sunday, Dr. Cox spoke on jealousy - whoa.... that split my heart in two! Which needed to be done! That night Chris also gave me some loving advice that I have been trying to live out in the past 2 months... First, he said that I needed to change my focus - to run after my Lord and Savior with the passion that I've been running after pregnancy with. He also said that I needed to place him second, right after God. My focus did get messed up by trying. I wanted to get pregnant more than anything! I needed to change that, and I have! Truly!
I have been falling in love with Jesus more and more as well as falling in love with my husband. Pregnancy is not controlling my life anymore - I am controlling my life! As far as trying goes, I'm taking each month at a time. I've decided I'm going to start running again. I found this cool website that will help me train to run 3 miles... http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml. I'm doing Weight Watchers, and just caring for my health as well as enjoying this sweet time with Chris. I don't know when a baby is in the Lord's plans for us, but I do believe that He does have that blessing for us one day. Right now, I want to live every day fully and appreciate life with no children right now. I know there will still be hard times - like when I find out other friends are pregnant. However, I trust. I give thanks.
I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waitin' to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted
Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missin'
The still of the morning' the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted
- Carrie Underwood
My life is my own, a blessing that I am responsible for living for Christ - His empty vessel. I will keep you posted on all that He is doing in our lives.
All my love -
Mary Lindsey
Well, let me see where I left off... we have been waiting two months. This was supposed to be the month that Chris and I would begin trying. However, we went ahead and tried the first month (in April). For some reason or another, that month had so much hope wrapped up in it because it was our 3 year anniversary and we had so much hope because of my surgery.
When I got my period, I really went through a really tough week. Chris was out of town at a conference, and I was home by myself. I also found out one of my college roomates, Kristen, was having twins. That was harder than I can even describe. However, this week was an amazing turning point for me. I was able to talk to a lady from my church, Lisa, about her struggle with infertility and she now has 3 beautiful girls. She understood - someone who truly undestood for the first time. She shared that a lot of her struggle was about wanting this dream in her timing vs. God's timing. The folllowing Sunday, Dr. Cox spoke on jealousy - whoa.... that split my heart in two! Which needed to be done! That night Chris also gave me some loving advice that I have been trying to live out in the past 2 months... First, he said that I needed to change my focus - to run after my Lord and Savior with the passion that I've been running after pregnancy with. He also said that I needed to place him second, right after God. My focus did get messed up by trying. I wanted to get pregnant more than anything! I needed to change that, and I have! Truly!
I have been falling in love with Jesus more and more as well as falling in love with my husband. Pregnancy is not controlling my life anymore - I am controlling my life! As far as trying goes, I'm taking each month at a time. I've decided I'm going to start running again. I found this cool website that will help me train to run 3 miles... http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml. I'm doing Weight Watchers, and just caring for my health as well as enjoying this sweet time with Chris. I don't know when a baby is in the Lord's plans for us, but I do believe that He does have that blessing for us one day. Right now, I want to live every day fully and appreciate life with no children right now. I know there will still be hard times - like when I find out other friends are pregnant. However, I trust. I give thanks.
I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waitin' to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted
Oh I don't wanna' keep on wishing, missin'
The still of the morning' the color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted
- Carrie Underwood
My life is my own, a blessing that I am responsible for living for Christ - His empty vessel. I will keep you posted on all that He is doing in our lives.
All my love -
Mary Lindsey
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Hope Restored...
Hope has been restored like it was before Chris and I ever started trying to get pregnant. The first few months of trying, there was excitement and hope. Then, the worry and doubts began to set in after we had been trying for a while with no success. Being driven emotionally by your cycle is misery! Up and down every month.
I went to the doctor about a week and a half ago. He told us all went well in the surgery, and the tests weren't abnormal - yea! He said I needed to wait to have one good period before we could start trying again, but said it would be wise to wait two. We will wait two.
Last Thursday I started my first period after surgery- I never have been this excited about getting it since I was 12! I even did a little dance! Another great thing was I didn't have cramps! I was a little achy feeling, but not anything like the cramps I used to have! Dr. Wiist said that the polyps were probaby causing my cramps, and now that it is gone = no cramps. Hoo Rae!
So, all this hoping and the excitement of possibility PLUS the wonderful weather has launched me into spring cleaning mode. I completely cleaned out what will be the nursery. If you saw this room before you would not think it could be cleaned out in one day, but I did it! Now, I am able to go by that room and invision a nursery one day. I am able to stop by it to kneel and ask the Lord to fill our lives with the blessing of children.
I am believing God for His miracle in His time. Pray for me to guard my heart, and to not think baby thoughts too much.
~ ML
I went to the doctor about a week and a half ago. He told us all went well in the surgery, and the tests weren't abnormal - yea! He said I needed to wait to have one good period before we could start trying again, but said it would be wise to wait two. We will wait two.
Last Thursday I started my first period after surgery- I never have been this excited about getting it since I was 12! I even did a little dance! Another great thing was I didn't have cramps! I was a little achy feeling, but not anything like the cramps I used to have! Dr. Wiist said that the polyps were probaby causing my cramps, and now that it is gone = no cramps. Hoo Rae!
So, all this hoping and the excitement of possibility PLUS the wonderful weather has launched me into spring cleaning mode. I completely cleaned out what will be the nursery. If you saw this room before you would not think it could be cleaned out in one day, but I did it! Now, I am able to go by that room and invision a nursery one day. I am able to stop by it to kneel and ask the Lord to fill our lives with the blessing of children.
I am believing God for His miracle in His time. Pray for me to guard my heart, and to not think baby thoughts too much.
~ ML
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Recovery
Well, its the day after my surgery, and everything went great! I had the best nurses and definitely the best doctor! Yesterday morning I woke up around 8:30 continually reminding myself not drink anything! Mom and I changed the sheets on my bed so they could be fresh and clean when I came back home to crash into the bed. I then took a shower in which I scrubbed myself dry! Yuck - I hate having to bath to the point where your skin feels like it is going to crack! After my shower, I got ready and hopped in the car with Mom and Chris. We left around 10:00. It was such a pretty day outside! I was sort of nervous, but not too bad.
We arrived at the hospital and checked in. I only had to wait a little while before my nurse, John, came to get me. I then had to change into a gown, socks, and blue bonnet. He then did all the pre-op stuff like checking my temp, blood pressure, etc. Then he had to put the IV in, which I was so scared of, but he was awesome! I couldn't feel it at all! I felt like such a big girl because I didn't have mom or chris back there to hold my hand :-) (Yes I am 25!) After that, John went and got Mom and Chris to come sit with me while I was having "brunch" (aka the first 1/2 of my IV bag). As I was waiting, the nurse brought me the best heated blankets ever! I told mom I sort of felt like I was being pampered!
While we were waiting in the tiniest room ever, Dr. Frank Cox, my pastor, and Alvin Hobgood, the executive pastor, from North Metro came by to see me and pray with me. It was so sweet to have them come by! I really wasn't expecting them, so it was a nice comfort to see them! Then, Jo, Chris' mom came by and she got to sit with us in the tiny room until they came to get me.
Around 12:15, Dr. Wiist, my OB/Gyn, came in to talk to me and answer any questions I had. He is the most precious doctor, and reminds me of the way my grandfather would have been a doctor. He prayed with me before he took me back, which made me, mom, and jo cry! They took me back and kept joking about how they were going to give me a spa treatment. I got up on the operating table, and then they told me they were giving me some sleepy drugs that may make my arm tingle. I tried to lay there with my eyes open for as long as I could. Its so weird because I don't even remember falling asleep.
When I woke up in the recovery area, Chris, Mom, and Jo were there trying to feed me graham crackers and ginger ale. They told me I kept saying, "I'm so happy" " I feel so good" and that I kept asking if Dr. Wiist was coming by to see me. I was so warm and cozy when I woke up with out an ounce of pain or nausea! Yeah! Thank you Jesus!
Dr. Wiist informed the Fam, that he found a 2cm polyp in my uterus, and another small one (size of his thumb nail) by the entrance to the left fallopian tube. He got both of them out and sent them to the lab. Hopefully, they won't grow back - some women are prone to these things. Please pray with me that these won't come back!
After I finished all my crackers, I was wheeled out to the car. I went right back to sleep and I vaguely remember driving through Chik-fil-A. I got home, ate some of my chicken sandwich, and went upstairs and crawled right in my fresh and clean, cozy bed. I slept until 7pm that night! Drugs are wonderful! My doctor is wonderful, and hopefully there will be a little baby soon! My follow up appointment is in about 3 weeks.. I'll keep you posted.
We arrived at the hospital and checked in. I only had to wait a little while before my nurse, John, came to get me. I then had to change into a gown, socks, and blue bonnet. He then did all the pre-op stuff like checking my temp, blood pressure, etc. Then he had to put the IV in, which I was so scared of, but he was awesome! I couldn't feel it at all! I felt like such a big girl because I didn't have mom or chris back there to hold my hand :-) (Yes I am 25!) After that, John went and got Mom and Chris to come sit with me while I was having "brunch" (aka the first 1/2 of my IV bag). As I was waiting, the nurse brought me the best heated blankets ever! I told mom I sort of felt like I was being pampered!
While we were waiting in the tiniest room ever, Dr. Frank Cox, my pastor, and Alvin Hobgood, the executive pastor, from North Metro came by to see me and pray with me. It was so sweet to have them come by! I really wasn't expecting them, so it was a nice comfort to see them! Then, Jo, Chris' mom came by and she got to sit with us in the tiny room until they came to get me.
Around 12:15, Dr. Wiist, my OB/Gyn, came in to talk to me and answer any questions I had. He is the most precious doctor, and reminds me of the way my grandfather would have been a doctor. He prayed with me before he took me back, which made me, mom, and jo cry! They took me back and kept joking about how they were going to give me a spa treatment. I got up on the operating table, and then they told me they were giving me some sleepy drugs that may make my arm tingle. I tried to lay there with my eyes open for as long as I could. Its so weird because I don't even remember falling asleep.
When I woke up in the recovery area, Chris, Mom, and Jo were there trying to feed me graham crackers and ginger ale. They told me I kept saying, "I'm so happy" " I feel so good" and that I kept asking if Dr. Wiist was coming by to see me. I was so warm and cozy when I woke up with out an ounce of pain or nausea! Yeah! Thank you Jesus!
Dr. Wiist informed the Fam, that he found a 2cm polyp in my uterus, and another small one (size of his thumb nail) by the entrance to the left fallopian tube. He got both of them out and sent them to the lab. Hopefully, they won't grow back - some women are prone to these things. Please pray with me that these won't come back!
After I finished all my crackers, I was wheeled out to the car. I went right back to sleep and I vaguely remember driving through Chik-fil-A. I got home, ate some of my chicken sandwich, and went upstairs and crawled right in my fresh and clean, cozy bed. I slept until 7pm that night! Drugs are wonderful! My doctor is wonderful, and hopefully there will be a little baby soon! My follow up appointment is in about 3 weeks.. I'll keep you posted.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Night Before Surgery
Well, this is the night before my surgery. I am sort of nervous, but not really about the surgery. More about pre- and post- surgery than the actual surgery. There are so many rules I have to follow tomorrow. My surgery isn't until 12, but I can't eat or drink anything past midnigt tonight. That is sort of nervie to me. My how I depend on food!
I also have a cold which is clogging my left nostril. I hope this won't effect the surgery at all. AND I hope the drainage doesn't make me sick afterwards!
Well, to anyone who reads this, please say a prayer for me tonight and tomorrow... 2/27 and 2/28. I trust the Lord. He hears me.
I sought the LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4
Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you. I will hold onto you with my Righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgement. 2 Timothy 1:7
The LORD is my strength and my song, He has become my salvation. Psalm 118:14
I also have a cold which is clogging my left nostril. I hope this won't effect the surgery at all. AND I hope the drainage doesn't make me sick afterwards!
Well, to anyone who reads this, please say a prayer for me tonight and tomorrow... 2/27 and 2/28. I trust the Lord. He hears me.
I sought the LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4
Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you. I will hold onto you with my Righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgement. 2 Timothy 1:7
The LORD is my strength and my song, He has become my salvation. Psalm 118:14
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Part 4 - Today
Well, now that you have seen a glimpse of my heart, and all that has gone on, I hope you can also see the Lord's faithfulness to us! God truly want to bless each and every one of us in His own way and in His own time. We get so distracted when we look at other people's lives and compare our life to their life. We see we either come up short in our own eyes, or we want the path that has been paved for them. If we just keep our eyes focused on Jesus, and not on what other people have been blessed with, that is when you are truly able to see the heart of God and what He wants for you.
This past December was a turning point for me. I went home over Christmas looking forward to a time of rest as well as family and Christmas fun! Chris and I had a wonderful time being with my family and celebrating. The last night we were there, I found out a friend of mine was having twins. Just when you think you've got it all figured out on how to be strong, something from out of nowhere comes and takes you out! Well, that night was so hard for me. It has been a dream of mine to have twins (I may not know what I am dreaming of!), but when I found that out I just felt like I was in the bottom of a pit. I was tired of the cycle of wanting to be pregnant and not being pregnant, I felt consumed by it.
My mom gave me one of Beth Moore's books- Get Out of The Pit, and it truly helped me to start seeking Christ not for a blessing but for WHO He is! I needed him to heal my broken soul, and meet the deep desire of my heart. I set out in 2007 seeking him every morning. I laid on the altar before Him asking Him to take my broken heart and make it whole.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after Righteousness, for they shall be filled. Matthew 5:6
Fill He did. My life began to change. I had peace flood me once again. I was able to take my focus off the desire to have a baby and place it on Christ.
January 19th, I went for my monthly exam at the Gyno :-( , and He said that in my HSG test, he thinks he sees something that requires further testing. So, I went to a second exam where they did an ultrasound to discover a cyst/polyp that needs to be removed. So, on February 28th, I'm going in to have that taken out via Hysteroscopy.
The Lord is so good! They think that this is all that is stopping us from getting pregnant. I pray and hope that it is! I know so many other women go through a hard time of desiring to have a baby - years and years of trying. I know we will see the hand of the Lord! That is the reason for this site... to see God's hand at work! He is so good.
Thank you Lord for allowing us to see glimpses of where you have been!
I love you!
Mary Lindsey
This past December was a turning point for me. I went home over Christmas looking forward to a time of rest as well as family and Christmas fun! Chris and I had a wonderful time being with my family and celebrating. The last night we were there, I found out a friend of mine was having twins. Just when you think you've got it all figured out on how to be strong, something from out of nowhere comes and takes you out! Well, that night was so hard for me. It has been a dream of mine to have twins (I may not know what I am dreaming of!), but when I found that out I just felt like I was in the bottom of a pit. I was tired of the cycle of wanting to be pregnant and not being pregnant, I felt consumed by it.
My mom gave me one of Beth Moore's books- Get Out of The Pit, and it truly helped me to start seeking Christ not for a blessing but for WHO He is! I needed him to heal my broken soul, and meet the deep desire of my heart. I set out in 2007 seeking him every morning. I laid on the altar before Him asking Him to take my broken heart and make it whole.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after Righteousness, for they shall be filled. Matthew 5:6
Fill He did. My life began to change. I had peace flood me once again. I was able to take my focus off the desire to have a baby and place it on Christ.
January 19th, I went for my monthly exam at the Gyno :-( , and He said that in my HSG test, he thinks he sees something that requires further testing. So, I went to a second exam where they did an ultrasound to discover a cyst/polyp that needs to be removed. So, on February 28th, I'm going in to have that taken out via Hysteroscopy.
The Lord is so good! They think that this is all that is stopping us from getting pregnant. I pray and hope that it is! I know so many other women go through a hard time of desiring to have a baby - years and years of trying. I know we will see the hand of the Lord! That is the reason for this site... to see God's hand at work! He is so good.
Thank you Lord for allowing us to see glimpses of where you have been!
I love you!
Mary Lindsey
Part 3 - November 2006
November 4, 2006
Three more months… this is like clock work! ☺ I just went through another tough time when I found out Johnny and Meghan are pregnant with their second. That was a very tough night! A night when I was mad at God, when I doubted trusting Him. But His faithfulness is so much greater than my weaknesses. He sent me encouragement through my Mom and Lori Beth Horton. My life can’t be changed by anything I do, but by truly being content and living my life that God has given me to the fullest.
Well, my life has changed. No, I’m not pregnant, but I am content. I am becoming the best wife that I can be. I am focusing on work and starting to focus on getting control of my weight. I think this is going to be a whole new challenge for me. I look forward to starting it and changing our lives.
Last week I had a test done… a hysterosalpingiogram – or something like that. It came out fine. Much more hope! Trusting. It’s a daily choice. Something that I can get shaky about when I think about the here and now. But, when I think about my Maker, that He knew each day of my life before I was even created, He knows the same for my children. I have no reason to worry.
I am truly trusting God for what lies in the future.
Three more months… this is like clock work! ☺ I just went through another tough time when I found out Johnny and Meghan are pregnant with their second. That was a very tough night! A night when I was mad at God, when I doubted trusting Him. But His faithfulness is so much greater than my weaknesses. He sent me encouragement through my Mom and Lori Beth Horton. My life can’t be changed by anything I do, but by truly being content and living my life that God has given me to the fullest.
Well, my life has changed. No, I’m not pregnant, but I am content. I am becoming the best wife that I can be. I am focusing on work and starting to focus on getting control of my weight. I think this is going to be a whole new challenge for me. I look forward to starting it and changing our lives.
Last week I had a test done… a hysterosalpingiogram – or something like that. It came out fine. Much more hope! Trusting. It’s a daily choice. Something that I can get shaky about when I think about the here and now. But, when I think about my Maker, that He knew each day of my life before I was even created, He knows the same for my children. I have no reason to worry.
I am truly trusting God for what lies in the future.
PART 2 - AUGUST 2006
August 16, 2006
Well, 3 more months have passed. Still no baby, but joy is the song of my heart! God has developed in me a peace as I have sought His face. I do not know if I will ever be a mom. Yet, I still have hope and a peace. A peace that surpasses all understanding. God, you have given me strength. Strength to reach out and open up about the struggle I was having. I have been able to share with Sherree and Brooke.
I’ve also been able to prepare and work on our house so much! I’ve gotten all of the office in order as well as gone through all of my clothes and gotten rid of so many! I now am in the process of clearing out the guest room closet as well as the nursery. Once those two things are done, I know the home will be much closer to being ready to bring a baby into it.
I’ve also gotten a job, but haven’t started working yet. I am waiting for the new spa to open up. I think of my time at home with no demands as a time for rest and rejuvenation for my body. I have little stress right now. The only stress I do have revolves around planning for Sister 2 Sister which that in itself is not too stressful.
Also, last night I watched this episode from Dr. Drew on Discovery Health Channel about the creation of a baby. One of the things he said on there was that sperm regenerate themselves every 90 days. If anything happens during those 90 days to damage the sperm-such as making their temperature rise about 97°F, then that can affect the sperm count in a man or their ability to swim. So, from what Chris and I figured last night, He started playing softball once a week last fall. He was wearing very tight sliding shorts at least once a week. So, from that we think spermies were damaged. Good news is that as of last night, that was his last softball game for the semester at least! Yeah, woo-hoo! But, now it may take about 3 months for his sperm to regenerate themselves. So from now August 16th to November 16th, he may be in sperm generation mode. We will see. Hopefully, I will start work soon, and can start bringing in some income, too. I am so excited about life and all that God is doing. He is truly my satisfaction. Thank you Jesus for making me content with where I am in life.
I love you, and am thankful for our relationship!
Amen
Well, 3 more months have passed. Still no baby, but joy is the song of my heart! God has developed in me a peace as I have sought His face. I do not know if I will ever be a mom. Yet, I still have hope and a peace. A peace that surpasses all understanding. God, you have given me strength. Strength to reach out and open up about the struggle I was having. I have been able to share with Sherree and Brooke.
I’ve also been able to prepare and work on our house so much! I’ve gotten all of the office in order as well as gone through all of my clothes and gotten rid of so many! I now am in the process of clearing out the guest room closet as well as the nursery. Once those two things are done, I know the home will be much closer to being ready to bring a baby into it.
I’ve also gotten a job, but haven’t started working yet. I am waiting for the new spa to open up. I think of my time at home with no demands as a time for rest and rejuvenation for my body. I have little stress right now. The only stress I do have revolves around planning for Sister 2 Sister which that in itself is not too stressful.
Also, last night I watched this episode from Dr. Drew on Discovery Health Channel about the creation of a baby. One of the things he said on there was that sperm regenerate themselves every 90 days. If anything happens during those 90 days to damage the sperm-such as making their temperature rise about 97°F, then that can affect the sperm count in a man or their ability to swim. So, from what Chris and I figured last night, He started playing softball once a week last fall. He was wearing very tight sliding shorts at least once a week. So, from that we think spermies were damaged. Good news is that as of last night, that was his last softball game for the semester at least! Yeah, woo-hoo! But, now it may take about 3 months for his sperm to regenerate themselves. So from now August 16th to November 16th, he may be in sperm generation mode. We will see. Hopefully, I will start work soon, and can start bringing in some income, too. I am so excited about life and all that God is doing. He is truly my satisfaction. Thank you Jesus for making me content with where I am in life.
I love you, and am thankful for our relationship!
Amen
A Journey Back Through Time.... My Heart Post 1 (May 2006)
These are postings from a journal I was keeping over the past year and a half. The Lord is faithful!
5/11/06 6:40 PM
Dear God,
Thank you so much for what you are teaching me. I wanted to make sure I capture this lesson on paper because I know so many people struggle with what I am going through. I know I will also have to refer back to this because this won’t be the last time that I will feel this way!
I want a baby! I have wanted to be pregnant since Chris and I first thought I could be pregnant 2 months after we were married! Well, we weren’t. Life was then filled with many distractions - like quitting my current job and finding what I really wanted to do with my life. Learning how to be true to myself and who God made me to be (and STILL be married!) I was also falling in love with my husband all over again and again – like newlyweds are supposed to do ☺.
After we had been married a year and a half, Chris was away at a conference. Once again, I thought I could be pregnant. False alarm #2. However, when Chris came home I told him about my suspicion, and he was actually excited this time. I asked him if he wanted to “start trying.” This was going to be so much fun! We can have sex anytime we want to – no worries about getting pregnant because it’s what we were trying to do! Well month 1 passes- no baby. Month 2, I go to the doctor’s office to get my check up and he prescribes me pre-natal vitamins. I was ecstatic! I called everyone in my family just to tell them I had gotten them. Doc also says I’m healthy and all is well! Month 3 comes and goes- no baby. Okay, by now I’m thinking that this is way harder that it seems. In my mind I think- how does this just “happen” in the back of a car?!? Or, how in the world do people just start to try and WHAM they're pregnant!?!
It is now January, and Chris and I decide that we will wait until summer to try again. Well, February comes around and we do fine with not “trying.” Then March comes around and somehow we are bitten with the baby bug again. I just know in my mind this is going to be the month I get pregnant. I even figure out the due date (it would be Christmas day)– can you tell I’m obsessed? (Even as I write this I’m rolling my eyes at myself!) I think this will be perfect for all of us-- Christmas here in Atlanta AND a new baby on the way. I’m sure you can only imagine half of the devastation I had when I woke up to discover that I WAS NOT pregnant! Even though I wasn’t pregnant, this month was important for me and Chris because I was able to communicate with him how much my emotions get wrapped up and involved with becoming a mom. I feel like I’m riding a wave of “okay, I’m fine if I don’t get pregnant – it’s in God’s hands” to “oh, maybe this could be the month” to “am I okay? Maybe Chris and I have infertility problems” to quietness and tears just to start the entire cycle over again. April rolls around and I decide I’m going to use the Fertility Awareness Method (charting and checking) for “birth control” – yeah right. I totally used it to see when I was fertile. While it was fun (if you know what I mean) – I still had this little gnawing desire in me… please get pregnant, please get pregnant.
One thing I have noticed as I have read and re-read this journal entry is that I continually say “pregnant” Only once did I say that I wanted to become a mom. Pregnant and Mom are two totally different things! Just like Bride and Wife are two totally different things. Society places so much focus on being a bride and preparing for the wedding just as it does being pregnant and preparing for the birth. HELLO where are the other 50 years of your life in being a Wife and a Mom. Those two things are way harder and way harder to get out of than just being a bride or being pregnant!!!!!!!
Well, even though my period still hasn’t arrived just yet – its due this weekend- I know that God is guiding me through this. However, life has its way of trying to throw a few punches, though. Like this - my nice outlook on life was chipped at again when Chris’ mom came to me and said- oh, by the way, Penny (Chris’ 44 year old aunt who just got married in January) IS PREGNANT! Oh joy – just what I wanted to hear! Not to mention, my neighbors – who wear NOT trying to get pregnant- got pregnant the month we started trying. They were quite shocked about this - the baby is a girl and she is due in July. Oh, and their best friends are due in June. Then, in January I find out the about 3-4 couples in our newlywed Sunday School class are pregnant. Why are women who are trying to get pregnant, magnets to pregnant women?!?! So, I have had just about all I can take. 6 months of trying and no baby.
Well, God has taught me so much this week. He has taught me so much in His Word and through wise counsel. This morning I woke up and felt like I had a storm raging inside me. I sat down on the couch and started to read Proverbs. I felt like I was reading a text book. (Yes even Christians sometime struggle with the Bible). I just sat the Bible down and asked God to speak to me. I needed to hear His voice. I remembered the passage in the Gospels that told about Jesus calming the storm – that was exactly what I needed! I started in Luke and read what Jesus’ words were to the disciple’s fear and worry. He said “Where is your faith?” uuummmm OUCH- well, God, you didn’t have to be so direct in speaking to my heart. (Actually, yes he did!) Then in Matthew he says “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then in Mark it said, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”
Oh, Jesus, I thought. Where is my faith. I have been depending so much on me. I’ve been trying every trick in the book. But I know LIFE doesn’t come from a book – it comes from YOU. Children are a blessing from the Lord – not just an afterthought! I thought about these verses for a moment and then remembered that Hebrews 11 was all about faith. The Hall of Faith in fact! “Now faith is being SURE of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we do not see.” (HEB.11:1) Each person that is told about in Chapter 11 had something that he/she could not see and was not certain of, but because they depended on God to see them through – according to HIS PLAN, they were deemed “FAITH heroes.” I went on to read the rest of the chapter out loud, and on into Heb.12. Vs. 1 of chapter 12 says: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, [all the people talked about in Chapter 11], let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Two things that stuck out to me in this verse. #1 – I’ve always focused on the “sin that so easily entangles us” and not the “everything that hinders” part. But let me tell you how I was hit between the eyes with that! Bowled over and encouraged! This focus and desire of mine was totally hindering my life! Chris spoke on surviving vs. thriving last night and I have been surviving because this desire was sucking the life out of me. My happiness revolved around it. I needed to throw that off! #2- “The race marked out for us.” God has a plan for each of our lives – they are not the same, but they are all used for His glory. These past few months I have been doing the planning and letting God in on my plan – just FYI that’s not how it works best!- Last night, Chris also shared Jeremiah 29:11 which has always been one of my favorite verses “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the LORD. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” He has a plan for my life, but I’ve got to abide in Him in order to know what those plans are! (John 15) I’m turning it over to Him. He is in charge. Whatever He desires for our life. I still have my desires, but I know He will be there are see me through with His plans – remember hope and a future, prosper-not harm! God is also using this time to teach us about preparation with finances, too. We have much to do. My desire is still there to be a Mom, but I just wanted to record that God can meet us where we are without answering our prayers exactly the way we want Him to. I am still in the middle of the race and haven’t gotten to the “finish line” yet. But I know I will. God will see me through. What happens in my life on earth is for God’s glory. He has given me certain desires, and I know he cares deeply about my desires. He is growing me and making me trust Him more. He knows I so deeply desire a surprise and a miraculous story. I have always desired twins, but know that He will never give me more that I can handle. The house is so quiet right now. One day I know I will be longing for the quietness I am hearing right now. I will be longing for the sleep I get right now as well as the small loads of laundry and small grocery bill we have right now. I write this because I know my God is faithful. He met me right where I was. I just had to have a little faith in Him.
“He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20-21
I do not write this to say that you must have more faith in order to receive what your heart desires. I am writing this to tell you that you must have faith to trust God for His plan in your life. He is the one in control. He wants to bless you. Just remember true life is about the GIVER not the gift.
AMEN
5/11/06 6:40 PM
Dear God,
Thank you so much for what you are teaching me. I wanted to make sure I capture this lesson on paper because I know so many people struggle with what I am going through. I know I will also have to refer back to this because this won’t be the last time that I will feel this way!
I want a baby! I have wanted to be pregnant since Chris and I first thought I could be pregnant 2 months after we were married! Well, we weren’t. Life was then filled with many distractions - like quitting my current job and finding what I really wanted to do with my life. Learning how to be true to myself and who God made me to be (and STILL be married!) I was also falling in love with my husband all over again and again – like newlyweds are supposed to do ☺.
After we had been married a year and a half, Chris was away at a conference. Once again, I thought I could be pregnant. False alarm #2. However, when Chris came home I told him about my suspicion, and he was actually excited this time. I asked him if he wanted to “start trying.” This was going to be so much fun! We can have sex anytime we want to – no worries about getting pregnant because it’s what we were trying to do! Well month 1 passes- no baby. Month 2, I go to the doctor’s office to get my check up and he prescribes me pre-natal vitamins. I was ecstatic! I called everyone in my family just to tell them I had gotten them. Doc also says I’m healthy and all is well! Month 3 comes and goes- no baby. Okay, by now I’m thinking that this is way harder that it seems. In my mind I think- how does this just “happen” in the back of a car?!? Or, how in the world do people just start to try and WHAM they're pregnant!?!
It is now January, and Chris and I decide that we will wait until summer to try again. Well, February comes around and we do fine with not “trying.” Then March comes around and somehow we are bitten with the baby bug again. I just know in my mind this is going to be the month I get pregnant. I even figure out the due date (it would be Christmas day)– can you tell I’m obsessed? (Even as I write this I’m rolling my eyes at myself!) I think this will be perfect for all of us-- Christmas here in Atlanta AND a new baby on the way. I’m sure you can only imagine half of the devastation I had when I woke up to discover that I WAS NOT pregnant! Even though I wasn’t pregnant, this month was important for me and Chris because I was able to communicate with him how much my emotions get wrapped up and involved with becoming a mom. I feel like I’m riding a wave of “okay, I’m fine if I don’t get pregnant – it’s in God’s hands” to “oh, maybe this could be the month” to “am I okay? Maybe Chris and I have infertility problems” to quietness and tears just to start the entire cycle over again. April rolls around and I decide I’m going to use the Fertility Awareness Method (charting and checking) for “birth control” – yeah right. I totally used it to see when I was fertile. While it was fun (if you know what I mean) – I still had this little gnawing desire in me… please get pregnant, please get pregnant.
One thing I have noticed as I have read and re-read this journal entry is that I continually say “pregnant” Only once did I say that I wanted to become a mom. Pregnant and Mom are two totally different things! Just like Bride and Wife are two totally different things. Society places so much focus on being a bride and preparing for the wedding just as it does being pregnant and preparing for the birth. HELLO where are the other 50 years of your life in being a Wife and a Mom. Those two things are way harder and way harder to get out of than just being a bride or being pregnant!!!!!!!
Well, even though my period still hasn’t arrived just yet – its due this weekend- I know that God is guiding me through this. However, life has its way of trying to throw a few punches, though. Like this - my nice outlook on life was chipped at again when Chris’ mom came to me and said- oh, by the way, Penny (Chris’ 44 year old aunt who just got married in January) IS PREGNANT! Oh joy – just what I wanted to hear! Not to mention, my neighbors – who wear NOT trying to get pregnant- got pregnant the month we started trying. They were quite shocked about this - the baby is a girl and she is due in July. Oh, and their best friends are due in June. Then, in January I find out the about 3-4 couples in our newlywed Sunday School class are pregnant. Why are women who are trying to get pregnant, magnets to pregnant women?!?! So, I have had just about all I can take. 6 months of trying and no baby.
Well, God has taught me so much this week. He has taught me so much in His Word and through wise counsel. This morning I woke up and felt like I had a storm raging inside me. I sat down on the couch and started to read Proverbs. I felt like I was reading a text book. (Yes even Christians sometime struggle with the Bible). I just sat the Bible down and asked God to speak to me. I needed to hear His voice. I remembered the passage in the Gospels that told about Jesus calming the storm – that was exactly what I needed! I started in Luke and read what Jesus’ words were to the disciple’s fear and worry. He said “Where is your faith?” uuummmm OUCH- well, God, you didn’t have to be so direct in speaking to my heart. (Actually, yes he did!) Then in Matthew he says “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then in Mark it said, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”
Oh, Jesus, I thought. Where is my faith. I have been depending so much on me. I’ve been trying every trick in the book. But I know LIFE doesn’t come from a book – it comes from YOU. Children are a blessing from the Lord – not just an afterthought! I thought about these verses for a moment and then remembered that Hebrews 11 was all about faith. The Hall of Faith in fact! “Now faith is being SURE of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we do not see.” (HEB.11:1) Each person that is told about in Chapter 11 had something that he/she could not see and was not certain of, but because they depended on God to see them through – according to HIS PLAN, they were deemed “FAITH heroes.” I went on to read the rest of the chapter out loud, and on into Heb.12. Vs. 1 of chapter 12 says: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, [all the people talked about in Chapter 11], let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Two things that stuck out to me in this verse. #1 – I’ve always focused on the “sin that so easily entangles us” and not the “everything that hinders” part. But let me tell you how I was hit between the eyes with that! Bowled over and encouraged! This focus and desire of mine was totally hindering my life! Chris spoke on surviving vs. thriving last night and I have been surviving because this desire was sucking the life out of me. My happiness revolved around it. I needed to throw that off! #2- “The race marked out for us.” God has a plan for each of our lives – they are not the same, but they are all used for His glory. These past few months I have been doing the planning and letting God in on my plan – just FYI that’s not how it works best!- Last night, Chris also shared Jeremiah 29:11 which has always been one of my favorite verses “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the LORD. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” He has a plan for my life, but I’ve got to abide in Him in order to know what those plans are! (John 15) I’m turning it over to Him. He is in charge. Whatever He desires for our life. I still have my desires, but I know He will be there are see me through with His plans – remember hope and a future, prosper-not harm! God is also using this time to teach us about preparation with finances, too. We have much to do. My desire is still there to be a Mom, but I just wanted to record that God can meet us where we are without answering our prayers exactly the way we want Him to. I am still in the middle of the race and haven’t gotten to the “finish line” yet. But I know I will. God will see me through. What happens in my life on earth is for God’s glory. He has given me certain desires, and I know he cares deeply about my desires. He is growing me and making me trust Him more. He knows I so deeply desire a surprise and a miraculous story. I have always desired twins, but know that He will never give me more that I can handle. The house is so quiet right now. One day I know I will be longing for the quietness I am hearing right now. I will be longing for the sleep I get right now as well as the small loads of laundry and small grocery bill we have right now. I write this because I know my God is faithful. He met me right where I was. I just had to have a little faith in Him.
“He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20-21
I do not write this to say that you must have more faith in order to receive what your heart desires. I am writing this to tell you that you must have faith to trust God for His plan in your life. He is the one in control. He wants to bless you. Just remember true life is about the GIVER not the gift.
AMEN
God's Grace
Well, this is the beginning of our journey documented. The journey began a while ago- in October 2005, when Chris and I began trying to have a baby. I will post on here sometime a journal I kept of ups and downs that kept my heart on a roller coaster. I want to begin this post to keep family members and friends updated on our journey so that they can see Our Lord's hand and His Grace on our lives.
In just a few days, I go in for surgery to have a cyst/polyp about the size of a walnut removed from my uterus. This is taking up the space in my womb (wom-bah as nancy likes to call it haha!) where the baby would implant. I am praying the recovery will be as pain-free and nauseous-free as possible, and I will heal nicely. I will keep you all posted on everything. Let's see God at work! He is an incredible God!
We love you!
In just a few days, I go in for surgery to have a cyst/polyp about the size of a walnut removed from my uterus. This is taking up the space in my womb (wom-bah as nancy likes to call it haha!) where the baby would implant. I am praying the recovery will be as pain-free and nauseous-free as possible, and I will heal nicely. I will keep you all posted on everything. Let's see God at work! He is an incredible God!
We love you!
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